It’s been an interesting pair of days. My equilibrium has been jostled by last night’s little diddy of a quake. Something about those initial first milliseconds of movement throws me off pretty hard. It’s an inner-ear thing. That always reminds of the surgery I underwent as a child to save my hearing. Thinking about that time has always been really hard for me because it was such a scary experience to be a child and notice your hearing disappear. Recently however, thoughts of my ears have brought up worse memories. A small revelation was made to me not that long ago by my mom about why my ears did what they did. I almost wished I hadn’t been told. Without saying too much, it wasn’t something that just happened, but more a result of something that was done to me. Last night’s little shake, and the effect it had on my equilibrium became a pretty fucked reminder. As a result there’s a shit load of feelings associated with it now. On top of the headaches, and the slight nausea, there’s a great deal of anger that’s sitting like a knot in my stomach.
On a lighter note, I’ve been tracking the decomposition of a poor dog on the side of the 710 that I saw about a month ago freshly killed. This morning it has officially lost it’s doggy identity. As horrible as seeing this K9 thrown off and disregarded has been, seeing how long it takes until it no longer looks like a dog has been awkwardly fascinating.
That’s all for now. Stay safe, pack some water, keep your shoes by the door.
["Podium Bike to Work Day."]
Last Thursday was Bike to Work Day, so I did just that. Ok well I cheated a little. I rode to my friend’s place and left my car there. From there it was a solid 18 miles to work. It has been quite some time since I ride that distance (40 miles by the time the day was done). But why not? I was down for sure. The trip out there was beautiful. Riding along the beach in the morning is a beautiful thing that I highly recommend to everybody. Nothing like it.
The ride had it’s rough spots. Some pretty steep hills and assholes cutting you off on the street once you leave the path weren’t too cool, but that aside it was amazing.
["My legs, they became noodles."]
Continue reading ‘Bike to Work Day’
["Me, mom, and little brother."]
Today was a very nice day. I got to spend it with my favorite lady in all the world. Mom. She wanted to go to the beach so we packed up and head down to Zuma to walk on the beach. It’s been a long time since I spend some quality time with my mom, especially since I moved out. She was all smiles all day.
Continue reading ‘Mother’s Day’
["The setup."]
We head out to Hermosa Beach today for a day of fun, sun, and relaxation. It was a time for team building, moral boosting, and of course, beer.
Continue reading ‘DVS Beach Day’
["Photo of me by Karen Schaefer"]
A few people have been wondering why there hasn’t been anything new on here in a while. There are a few reasons, the first of which is that I’ve been working on finally getting my site together. I’ve been sitting on so many photos and illustrations that it’s that time to just buckle down and get the portfolio up. Now I normally wouldn’t have the time to do so, but I do have some time now. It’s unfortunately not a good thing. A little while back we got further pay cuts at work, and that meant losing our Fridays. A 4 day work week would normally be something to jump up and down about, but when you’re getting paid less as a result, well, not so exciting.
These free Fridays have been interesting. I’ve been going on walks, doing tons of skating, and picking up more freelance. I’m also putting that Disney passport to use. So basically trying to make the most of a pretty fucked situation.
The good news is that soon I’ll have an official site up with my photography and illustration, and this blog will be purely that…a blog. So stay tuned. And please, if you know someone needing some web design, photo, or illustration work, be a pal and send em my way yeah?
This weekend where the last remaining battles of The Battle At The Berrics. An awesome idea on the part of The Berrics. It came down to Mike Mo vs. Benny Fairfax at the end, and it was an amazing contest. They even had some bills printed for the winner, a smooth $10,000 for first place. Pretty damn impressive.
["Berra shows the goods."]
Continue reading ‘The Battle at the Berrics’
["Celebratin' 10 years."]
Went to the Matix 10 year Book Signing with Emily last Thursday. Matix released a book celebrating its 10 years in the biz with contributions from various riders and friends that have made the brand what it is. There was a book signing and mixer of sorts at Hennessey & Ingalls in Hollywood. The Red Bull bus was there as well.
There was an after party at Fordbrady later in the evening in Chinatown. Pretty neat place, old theater converted into a live/work place. Paul Park, one of the contributors and an amazing photographer, was on hand getting photos of the guests. Here is ours.
["Emily and I. Photo by Paul Park"]
It was a great turnout. I had the privilege of meeting one of my early skate heroes Rodney Mullen. The dude doesn’t go out into the public eye much, but he made an appearance. I’ve been looking forward to meeting that dude since I started with the company 4 years ago.
["1st Disney trip"]
I found this picture the other day. My mom had it out to put into one of our albums. It’s from our first trip to Disneyland. I remember that day pretty well. I think it still goes down as one of the happiest days of my life. Growing up, we didn’t really get to go to many places, so the prospect of a trip to Disneyland was incredible. We wouldn’t be able to sleep. I mention that to people every now and then and I get this whole “are you serious?” response with a surprised look. Mostly it’s from people who went quite often. I’m thankful for the economic hardship we experienced as kids in that aspect. It made the few trips out there so incredible and enjoyable.
I bring this up because as early as I could remember Disneyland having annual passports, I’ve wished to have one. I still love the damn place. It’s instant happiness. Thankfully this year, my two friends Angie and Alex, got me started on an annual pass. I’m so ridiculously psyched! I can go whenever the fuck I want (barring a few black-out dates), and the idea alone takes me back to that first time I went. We went down the other day in the rain. We had to poncho up it was raining so bad, but it didn’t matter.
First stop was over to the “City Hall” to get my passport photo taking. It has to be by far, the worst photo ever taken of me. I look like some Charles Manson, pedophiley, quasi-caveman. Brace yourself…
Continue reading ‘Disney Passport’
["Oh the joy! It's palpable!"]
Happy Birthday to me! 26 years old. Go ahead, ask me. “Danny it’s your birthday, you’ve just turned 26, what are you going to do next?” I’m going to Disneyland! For free! You can’t not cash in on the opportunity to get into the park free. Had to do it.
["A badge so that everyone knows."]
It was quite the day actually. I popped out of bed at 7:00 A.M. and decided to go for a walk. It was pretty damn refreshing. I made my way down the block and decided to start the day with an overpriced cup of coffee. Got to explore the neighborhood in the process which is always good.
The plan was to head out to Disneyland with Dave and Britt by 10. I had dinner reservations with one of my favorite people, Emily, and wanted to get a decent chunk of Disney before I had to head back.
["Pre-Disney face joy!"]
Dave had the ingenious idea of documenting the life-suck that can occur when one is overjoyed. So amped on coffee and life, we snapped this first shot and got going.
I got a birthday badge at the park. Pretty much a beacon for staff to wish you a Happy Birthday at every ride. It adds to the feeling special on you birthday vibe Disney was pushing. It was quite nice. Not much to really say about Disneyland. It’s a fun fucking place. Can’t really be bummed there. I do however have some issues with the bastardization of Tim Burton’s Nightmare Before Christmas and the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. STOP IT! Just STOP.
["Sitting in a pink cup...yippee."]
We went on all the favorite rides. Lines were surprisingly long, but fastpass is an awesome idea and definitely makes a difference. We did Indiana Jones and had profound discussions about the reality of asian tourists throwing peace signs in pictures. It’s a very genuine, yet meaningless thing, and so very interesting to watch. We then went on Thunder Mt. and noticed the massive decrease in speed since the accidents. We then had $6 dollar slices of pizza and made our way to splash mountain.
At Splash Mountain we made the decision to try and be as serious as we could be at the drop. Let me tell you, that shit is damn near impossible. It takes a great deal of energy to conjure up some of the most depressing shit you can imagine after seeing a bunch of fluffy animals talk about getting high at some place called the “laughing place”, but I think I nailed it. (see 1st photo).
["Our faces reeked of fun. "]
It slowly got closer to being time to depart. Dave and I made our way to Space Mountain. We got in line, zipped off into space, and made our way out of the park. It was an awesome way to spend the day. I get all these flashback to the first time I went. It’s one of the blessings of growing up poor. The very mention of “Disneyland” would make life an incredible thing, and that feeling never wears off. Every time feels like a big treat. I would hate to be one of those jaded kids who bitches about being at Disneyland. Those kids needs to get elbowed in the face.
["As quickly as it begun, it was over."]
Disneyland was done but the night was far from over for me. We hurried back home so that I can go to dinner with Emily. She had made reservations at Taylor’s steakhouse. Let me tell you, there’s nothing like a steak dinner on your birfday. That shit just hits the spot, and when the company is as aweesome as my friend Emily, you can’t go wrong. It was great. We talked about life, guns, tattoos, and ate some incredible food.
After dinner, we headed over to Borders to browse some books. I got a call from grandma and family to wish me a happy birthday, and then almost got nailed by a drunk driver on the way back home. My parents stopped by late at night and gave me a few gifts, wished me a happy birthday, and watched a Bigfoot documentary with me. It was a perfect day.
Thanks again for the amazing dinner and company Emily. Britty and Dave, thanks for enriching my inner child with me, and Fedorah thanks for the gum drops. And a special thanks to all for the birthday wishes.
["Somedays can be pretty squirrely"]
Tomorrow I turn 26 years old. After tomorrow I will have lived a quarter of my life (if I’m lucky), and it’s something that has been weighing on my mind all year. Every year starts out the same promising myself that “this year will be different”, and every year it’s the same disappointment.
When I look back at what the quarter of my life has been, the ups and downs, I’m left very disappointed. As much as I’d like to say that I have no regrets, I do. I had a pretty shitty childhood. One filled with disillusionment and very hard work. I feel like my whole life revolved around school and the interactions I made with others there. That’s part of the problem. I won’t lie, there have been awesome moments sprinkled thereabouts, but the shit far outweighs those little moments of light.
This past month has been a very important one for me. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out what the problem is. Why I was so unhappy. Why nothing ever really made any sense. I wanted to figure it out before tomorrow so that i can truly start out the next quarter of my life optimistically and without doubt or regret. And it all finally came to me this past weekend.
I had probably one of the most amazing weekends of my life. I discovered a lot about myself and came to some serious conclusions about the proper way to carry on. As a little bit of insight, I’d like to share something about myself that maybe you’re aware of and maybe you’re not. It’s basically the essence of why I am the way that I am. I’ve always been the odd one out. The one that the girls never liked, or the dude that none of the cool guys wanted to hang out with. I’ve always known that there was something about the way I carried myself, the way that I thought, that didn’t appeal to many people, mainly because they didn’t understand me. This had two effects. On the one side, I never have compromised the person I am to make friends or appeal to the opposite sex. I’ve been a real hard-ass about sticking to who I am. At the same time though, the things some people would say would just hurt way too much and as much as I would shine it off, it would still have an affect on me.
Years later here I am. Still dealing with being “Danny” and at the same time being slightly embarrassed by who “Danny” is. It’s an odd relationship. One that makes me lose sight of what I need in life, and for myself. This past weekend I had the great privilege to make some new friends. I found myself for the first time ever, being completely comfortable in my own skin without the slightest bit of hesitation, and it felt amazing. It might not make sense, but trust me when I say that it was a total moment of clarity. I felt 100% validated in everything that makes me proud to be me. Instantly all the critiques and insults that have stacked up over the years disappeared, and I find myself ready to take on the world. I’ve wasted way too much time regretting shit, and straight up not having the balls to just do the things I want to.
I can honestly say that everything leading up to this point can be seen as a learning experience. Things that have made me who I am today, and that’s someone who I am very proud to be. The next quarter of my life is looking quite promising. I’m thankful for all the people in my life who have helped me along my way and who are still there for me today. You guys are amazing and I owe you all a great deal. Thanks…
